Truth Is

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Excuse me, but I need a little bit of self reflection. Consumed by sadness and full of fear, hoping courage will give me some protection.  I’m walking my own path, about to cross this intersection. This time it’s different….I’m headed in a new direction. 

Working hard to get back on track, feel the weight and heavy burden of this current set back. Truth is, I’m not sure that I’ll ever find my way back. Holding on, wanting to be strong but through the facade, I think I see a crack!

Sometimes the tears they flow. Decided to just let them go. Maybe they’ll help cleanse my soul, truth is, I don’t really know. Most days I feel sooo low. One foot in front of the other is how I’ll go…it’s a complicated trail, better take it slow.

Fighting hard to keep my head above the water. Truth is, I really want to scream God, please come and save your daughter! The pain that I feel is so real and intense.  Not sure if I’m strong enough to put up an adequate defense.

Ok is what I say when they ask me how I’m doing. Truth is, feelings of hopelessness and depression are constantly brewing. I’m not sure they want to hear all it is that I fear, more concerned with their feelings then keepin it real. I’ve come a long way but have a long way to go though….truth is I don’t know if I’ll ever feel whole.

*** For those of us who face mental health challenges, it’s a battle that we fight each and everyday. It’s not always easy to communicate our feelings, even to our loved ones.

My hope is that one day there will be freedom found in openly sharing our stories with those outside of the mental health community, who may have never experienced any form of mental illness but can find ways to support those who do, through education, love and compassion — Here’s to brighter days!

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C.K. McGhee is a woman of faith who believes in nurturing her spiritual relationship with God in order to be her best and to give her best. She hails from New York’s Mid-Hudson Valley, which is just north of New York City. Having been diagnosed with Major Depressive and Anxiety Disorder twenty years ago, she is concerned with bringing awareness to the Mental Health crisis in America; specifically focused on The African-American community. She believes that not only are her struggles with mental health a testimony for someone else who may be struggling but that it’s the very foundation for her advocacy platform; to inspire, motivate and inform others that there is life despite mental health challenges. Her signature phrase, “Here’s to brighter days”, maintains a steadfast hope that all of the voices that have been silenced by stigma, will be supported to speak their truth, knowing and understanding the value of their lives; walking in purpose towards their brighter days!

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