The Title…

Tis’ the season of love, also known as “cuddle buddy” season. Throughout social media it is relatively hard to avoid seeing posts from people about how they are in need of a “cuddle buddy” for the season or how they are ready to settle down and want that boyfriend or girlfriend. Say that you’re that person that is actively looking a significant other and have been causally or seriously dating someone for just a month to as little as three months. When would it be appropriate to claim that “title” of being girlfriend and boyfriend?

Speaking from prior experience, it will all differ from person to person; however, for each relationship there are certain pre-requisites for making things “official”. In the society that we live in, for most after seeing someone for a month they start thinking about making things official with the other person. Relationships are a wonderful thing, but if you are over a certain age (I say 25) you must be very mindful while dating because the person that you’re dating should be someone that you could see yourself marrying in the future, so no time should be wasted, which means while you are getting to know different people there should be signs to let you know whether or not this is person for you. This can usually be determined during the first encounter or date with the person.

So what signs should you look for when considering to make things “official” and claim that “title”?

You guys are comfortable around each other. 

This step number one. After a few dates and hanging out, the two of you should be at ease with each other. There shouldn’t be anymore nervousness. If you constantly find yourself nervous around the other person, chances are there’s a vibe within you letting you know that this isn’t the person for you. Don’t ignore your body instincts.

You have fun with each other.

The most important and healthy thing about a relationship, after great communication, is the fact that the two of you have fun together. This means that you have established a great friendship with each other. The ability to keep each other laughing does not leave room for a dull or boring moment.

You constantly think about the person.

When you constantly think about the other person while you’re at work, in class or just out and about this means that you only see yourself with this person. There’s no room to think about another man or another woman.

You value each other, and share the same values.

When you share the same values and beliefs, it makes it easier to communicate about anything. Yes disagreements will come up from time to time, but you should know how to handle them to come to a mutual agreement or understanding.

You want the same things in life.

All too often people become wrapped up in the lust of a person which tends to block the vision of what they want. One person may want a long-term relationship that leads to marriage, while the other person may be frightened of marriage and just wants a “cuddle buddy” for the time being. The two of you must want the same thing for a relationship to even begin.

For each of these things it takes time for them to develop and this varies from person to person. Just because it takes one couple two months to become an “official” couple and it worked for them, doesn’t mean it will work for another couple. They may have to date for several months before anything becomes “official”. Remember each person is different, each relationship is different; therefore, DO NOT rush love because trust and believe it WILL ruin everything. Let things flow naturally and enjoy the ambiance of being around each other. It will all be worth it in the end.

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Naomi K. Bonman is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University where she holds her Bachelors of Arts in Mass Media Arts with a concentration in Journalism. She also holds her Masters of Public Administration. She is the Founder and CEO of Awakened Media Enterprises, Inc. which owns Purposely Awakened. She has been in the media field since 2006 covering beats that range from social justice, community, entertainment, sports, fashion/beauty, and culture news.

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