The Perfect Guy: Early Signs in Spotting a Lunatic

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The Perfect Guy, the movie, has been out for about two weeks now, but the epidemic of running into a crazy guy has been around for centuries, but with the recent release of the movie and domestic violence awareness month coming up next week, it only deemed reasonable to write this post.

Okay ladies, so we all probably have come across at least 1 guy who you thought was “Prince Charming” or just seemed to be too different that it almost didn’t seem real just to find out that the guy was “cray-cray”. Some ladies have probably dealt with this guy and didn’t know until it was too late. For those who are new on the dating scene, just entering the dating scene for the first time, or re-entering it from a failed relationship, there are a few cautious signs that you can spot early on that you need to be on the look out for, for your own sake and safety.

He asks about your family. In the past I have had a guy ask how my family was doing and he has not met them, heard about them, or seen them. To his knowledge and experience, my family could be non-existent. If a guy that you barely know and are in the midst of trying to get to know asks this question within the first few words of getting to know you, this is a red flag! A man with common sense and all his screws tightened in his brain would not ask this question is they do not know anything about your family, let around seen a photo of a relative. This question just comes off as social awkwardness. If you’re trying to break the ice, you can ask, “Do you have any siblings?” That’s what a normal person would ask. Even if a man is new to the dating scene he is not going to as about your family right off the bat after getting your number.

Too needy. As adults we all have lives, which means that we are not glued to our phones desperately waiting for a person’s text or call. If a guy starts feeling some type of way because you went days to a week without texting him, or if you forgot to text back so days later he talks back with a “lonely or desperate” type of text, beware and don’t even respond. For example, if you are not “talking” or “dating” that person, hell if you haven’t even had a phone conversation with him yet and he texts saying, “Well, I guess you don’t want to talk to me anymore..” Really, number 1 I have a life; and number 2 “I don’t even know what your voice sounds like, so I haven’t even gotten to talk to you yet, but the neediness through the text turns me off to not even want to deal with you”.  If the guy is needy in the “getting to know you/getting acquainted stage”, just imagine how it would be when you actually go out on a date with him.

Talks about marrying you (in a non-joking way) after only hanging out once or twice. You guys probably aren’t even official yet, but the guy is making it blunt and very clear that you will be his wife, and not in a playful matter either. He’ll make comments on how his mother would just love you. This is very scary. You’re just trying to get to know the man, you are not even sure if you see him as marriage material yet, so to feel like something is being forced is a red flag. Now usually people think it’s always the woman who is talking about weddings and marriage right off the bat, but actually I’ve known A LOT more man and very little women who start talking about marrying early on. The only exception would go for when a man is over the age of about 34 or 35, at the age they are established, ready to settle down, and marriage and a companion is usually at the forefront of their minds when they are looking for a mate, but when they meet you they will make it clear to in a general way that they are looking for a wife, not a long-term girlfriend, then after that they will not keep nagging you or telling you that they will be their future wife, unless they have made it official with you. Nagging and TELLING someone that you barely know is the red flag.

We can go on with more cautious signs, but these are the main three that I have encountered. It’s always safe to be cautious, then to not be safe at all and go into things with a naive child’s mind.

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Naomi K. Bonman is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University where she holds her Bachelors of Arts in Mass Media Arts with a concentration in Journalism. She also holds her Masters of Public Administration. She is the Founder and CEO of Awakened Media Enterprises, Inc. which owns Purposely Awakened. She has been in the media field since 2006 covering beats that range from social justice, community, entertainment, sports, fashion/beauty, and culture news.

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