For those who are familiar with the polarity of Yin and Yang, you know that it refers to the concept of balance between the masculine and feminine energies that exists in all human beings. We know that if one of these energies becomes the dominant energy, a person could be considered “out of balance.”
In this latest video @the_empressdee talks to us about The Intimidation of Masculine Energy. In this instance, however, when she refers to masculine energy, she speaks specifically about male actions and behaviors that may be unfamiliar to women who have not experienced the presence of a man, either in the home or as a role model or who has had negative interactions with men and as a result may have a tendency to take a defensive stance toward men who exhibit aggressive energy that they are not accustomed to. Here is what she had to say:
I do not think that men are mindful of the fact that you have the ability to shape how women view men as a whole. You hear women all the time talking about how Black men are not this or how they are not that, and we all know that it is because of their personal experiences, where she has met a few men, Black men, that display the same characteristics and so now in her mind, all Black men are the same. So, when you deal with a woman who has no male interaction, or who has had negative interactions with men, then you have the ability to re-structure what she thinks about those men. But you have to be mindful of your approach.
Another thing to consider is that body language matters, I do not think that men really pay attention to their body language. There needs to be an understanding of each other’s disposition. Typically, a woman is shorter than a man and we have all heard even as it pertains to children, one of the most important things is that when you are talking to a child, you have to get on their level (a form of reassurance) because if you are standing over top of them, they are going to be intimidated by you and I do not think that men really consider that either. Even though it may be unintentional, when you stand over a woman and you are telling her something, she could be intimidated by your stature. So, that is something that you may want to consider.
Make sure that when you are talking to her that you are aware of your proximity to her, if you are really close to a woman and you are talking down at her, it may not be intentional but that can come off as intimidating. A man’s voice projects louder than a woman’s so that can be an additional reason for a woman to question why she is being spoken to in that way. I think that it is something that causes a woman to feel guarded (defenses up) concerning a man’s tone.
Another thing to keep in mind is to verbalize what your intentions are when you are speaking with a woman. I was in a situation with a person and it changed my whole perspective of things and it was like they “broke the lock” on this. I would always get really hyped up and I would be very defensive towards somebody who was standing over top of me and was talking to me in a certain way and one day, this man explained that he was not telling me what he needed to in order to hurt me…I am not doing this to hurt you, I am not trying to intimidate you or anything, I am telling you this because I care about you. It was crazy because instantly, I softened up and relaxed. I do not think that men think about doing that, it is important to verbalize your intentions because that will help a woman to soften as well.
If you are standing over her and you are in close proximity to her, looking her dead in the eye along with your voice projecting loudly, she is instantly going to feel threatened by you. So, you have to make sure that you are doing everything that you possibly can to ensure that she understands that you are not there to upset her or to hurt her. Because unfortunately, that is what she is used to. Can you understand what I am saying?
As men, you have a great responsibility. I am always talking about a woman’s responsibility but as a man, you have a responsibility to women to help shape positive experiences for her in her interactions with men. You are respecting her if you are considerate of her past dealings with men and not approaching her with extreme aggression because trust, we understand that you are the man but you cannot talk to women in the same way that you talk to your homeboys. With women, you need to be more gentle (especially with women who had have negative experiences or no experience with men), make her feel safe and not like she has to defend herself against you.
The best way to make a woman feel more at ease is to state your intentions with them, let them know that you are not there to hurt them or that you be aware of your proximity to them, that you are not right on top of them, hovering over them while you are talking to them. Be mindful of the way that you are projecting your voice so as not to cause her to shut down as a result.
Men, I believe that you all are capable of making a woman feel comfortable and that is all that I really wanted to say, thank you for listening.