We all know that the black family structure is almost non-existent in today’s society. None of us will truly realize how much effort our ancestors put into maintaining and providing for their families while having the world against them. Black families would literally stick together through any obstacle, and kept their faith in one another. When one person fell, it affected everyone.
What’s really disheartening is that a lot of young black men and women no longer feel the need to keep that same mentality. Living with their significant others and having kids out of wedlock means they already have a solid relationship, only without signing official papers. Now a days, it’s more acceptable to be a baby mama/daddy, or just a hubby/wifey instead of husband and wife.
Did you know that you are setting yourself and your child up for a lifetime of potential anguish when you allow yourself to settle. What happens to you and/or your child when your partner meets an ill fate? You end up with no security, and emotional distress. Ladies, why would you want to have a baby in your stomach, yet no promise of love and support on his end? Fellas, why would you risk getting a girl pregnant, knowing you do not want a relationship with her?
Marriage should not be something to confine to or rebel against. Only you know what is best for you, and not everyone wants to get married and start a family. However, keep the gate open to the possibility of being committed to someone that may change your life. If someone grew up in a broken home, that person should not want their child to end up in the same situation.
However, I feel that the whole concept of a stable family is no longer taken seriously. There are way too many single black women (and women in general) who have kids out of wedlock, only to end up miserable and struggling to keep their heads above water. What’s really sad is that some women who have children do so strictly for financial gain and manipulation!
Not having that solid father figure affects the lives of our babies. Not having that support system of unconditional love takes a toll on a child’s mental and emotional being. Eventually, they think that it’s normal or acceptable-thus continuing that vicious cycle.
How can we stop this from happening? We need to be aware of how we are contributing to that never ending cycle that constantly puts us in a negative light. Not taking a stand will continue that cycle that will influence generations to come. It will be so embedded in our minds that the thought of having a “stable” family will be obsolete.
It’s time for black people to take the necessary steps to strengthen that support system. We need to build the same integrity that our ancestors had for their blood. Keep in mind that our successors are the ones who will end up taking care of the elders, so instilling the importance of family is vital.
Let us provide a stable foundation for our children, and our seeds that have yet to be planted.