The Evolution of the Side Chick

With the popularity of ABC’s Scandal and BET’S Being Mary Jane, it would seem as if the “side chick” a..k.a. “the other woman” is being glorified; however, if you look deeper into the show Being Mary Jane you’ll be able to pick up the messages behind the show. Tuesday night’s season finale also had a very good message in the last few minutes. Also in a recent interview on The View, Gabrielle Union was asked if she was glorifying the role of the “side chick” and she stated that she is not so much “glorifying” it, but letting others see that there are consequences behind this  “popular phenom”.

There are some women out there who are very delusional and think that they are not doing anything wrong by being “the side chick”, then there are some who are naive and do not know, others are stubborn ad selfish and will find out that the man they are “dating” or “seeing” is married and/or in a relationship but they refuse to let go for their own reasons, and some just don’t care enough about themselves to be patient and get their own man. And yes, it does take to tango so the man is also at fault as well, and there are consequences for both parties, which is very evident in both sitcoms.

So what are some the repercussions that are easily see whole watching the shows?

1) The reason for the men stepping out is because there is an unequal balance of “give ad take” within his relationship or marriage.

Yes, relationships are hard work and marriages are even harder, but that doesn’t mean you just give up. In Being Mary Jane, MJ is able to connect and communicate with Andre (Omari Hardwick) in a way that his wife has been lacking due to her being focused solely on her rising career. Sometimes in relationships, we as successful women can become so focused on ourselves that we forget to fully give our mates that mental, emotional or physical support that they need. We start taking more from the relationship, but we forget to give.

2) The side chick is still in search for herself, and is trying to fill a void. 

Women who continue to sleep with a married man or one that is in a committed relationship after finding out, usually lacks something within herself. For Mary Jane, she had the career, the house and the car, but her love life was all out of whack. As we seen in the season finale with her ex confronting her about stealing his sperm, she thought it would be a way of her getting him back, but of course he had moved on. However, in the end MJ was able to come to a realization by letting the past go, and forgiving herself as well as others who might have hurt her in the past. She caused a lot of damage along the way, but once she started apologizing and forgiving, the healing process started.

3) Side chicks have no value for them selves.

They pretend to live this “perfect” life, but in the end they all have low-self esteem. They start to hide behind a persona, and going back to statement two, they have to learn to see more for themselves in order for them to change.

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Naomi K. Bonman is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University where she holds her Bachelors of Arts in Mass Media Arts with a concentration in Journalism. She also holds her Masters of Public Administration. She is the Founder and CEO of Awakened Media Enterprises, Inc. which owns Purposely Awakened. She has been in the media field since 2006 covering beats that range from social justice, community, entertainment, sports, fashion/beauty, and culture news.

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