Seven Tips to Mend Your Broken Heart in Time for Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, love is in the air…or NOT! While some of us are “Drunk in Love,” others are trying to pick up the pieces of their broken heart. Mending your heart after a break-up can be a daunting task. The idea of dealing with mixed emotions like sadness, anger, betrayal and unforgivingness can make the healing process appear even more despairing.

So, how can you heal your heart and open-up to love, again? Check out my seven tips to mend your broken heart in time for Valentine’s Day. 

Identify & Let Go of Past Hurt 

Having to identify past hurt, may cause anxiety. However, pinpointing the hurt is the first step to healing and coping with the pain. Healing gives you clarity, peace, understanding, joy, love, but most of all, a new sense of purpose.  

Release Unforgivingness 

In 2007, the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, estimated 12,000 of the 1.2 million U.S. citizens suffering from myocardial infraction (“heart attack”) have experienced Broken Heart Syndrome, brought on by death, divorce, or a break-up. The late psychiatrist/psychoanalyst Thomas Szasz once said, “The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”

Forgiveness is for the forgiver, not the forgiven. In order to release unforgivingness, you MUST forgive! With February being American Heart Month, taking your power back to restore your heart and spirit is essential to your health. Don’t allow heartbreak to force you to become another statistic. 

Journal Your Thoughts & Feelings 

Journaling is also a great healing tool. Transcribing your feelings and thoughts on paper acts as a point of reference during your restoration process. While healing from my divorce, I wrote down things that I wanted to change about myself and what I wanted to add. Additionally, I wrote down non-negotiables as it related to a future mate and what I desired in that mate.  

Determine Your Purpose & Goals 

Figure out your purpose by asking yourself these questions. Who am I? Why am I here? What is God’s plan for me? What am I passionate about? What inspires me? Where do I see myself within the next five years? How can I accomplish these goals? Go back to the beginning and identify why things have happened in your life and how you’ve contributed. Once you’ve answered these questions, you should have an outline of your purpose and aspirations. 

Write/Speak Positive Affirmations & Scriptures  

Write down positive affirmations and scriptures that will aid in shifting your state of mind. Several years ago, I began to write affirmations and scriptures down that I knew I needed in order to be healed. Amid restoring my spirit, I would wake up every day speaking affirmations over my life. I purchased two journals and began writing in them daily. Allow writing to become an outlet and watch things begin to manifest in your favor. 

Self-awareness & Confidence: Love and Get to Know Yourself 

After a break-up, take time to get to know yourself; self-reflect. In what ways could you have been a better spouse/partner/significant other? During your self-reflection, discover new things about yourself. Pick up new hobbies like joining a book club, or gym. Exercising will aid in developing a new confidence. Not only will you look good, but you’ll also feel good. Remember, in order to give someone your all, you must first be whole.  

Restoring Your Spirit 

Find a mentor. Mentors are counselors/teachers who help you live up to your highest potential. After my divorce, I had a hard time forgiving and the bitterness tainted my spirit. Eventually, I decided to find a mentor who would advise me personally and professionally. Along with my mentor, I also seek refuge in God. Selfless acts are also great ways to restore your spirit. Join/advocate for an organization that provides community service, or promotes a cause you believe in. Volunteer at events, feed the homeless, or donate to a non-profit. Now, get out there and revamp your soul!