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LIVING OUT LOUD WITH MOCA

Not Coming to Your House

Moca,

I met this guy who is really nice and we hit it off. We only really talk on the phone and text most of the time. He says he wants to get to know me and invited me to his house. Why do men think that it is acceptable to have your first date at their house or several dates at their house?

 Not coming to your house, (Los Angeles, CA)

Honey, the answer is real simple, because so many women allow them to do it. Men are creatures of habit. If it has worked before he will keep doing it, even if it doesn’t work one time. He misses the lesson. Count it as a fluke, and on to the next one with the same cycle becoming repetitive. I know, sad but true. If women fall into the trap men will keep setting it.

Don’t do it!!!!! I know when you hear that line, “I just want to get to know you” that you think he’s REALLY interested in you. Don’t do it!!!!! Or when he says, “I want to cook for you.” Don’t do it!!!! (at least not on the first date..lol) You are setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. I know some of you young whipper snappers don’t understand so let Moca break it down for you.

The Breakdown

When you go over to his house the first time you meet, he’s a man and he’s going to try you. Some will try harder than others, but TRUST he’s going to start the caressing and all the sexual innuendos. Now, you may have strong will power and be able to resist all his initial advances. But you have now created a level of comfort and satisfaction on the guy’s part. He is thinking, while I didn’t have sex tonight she is cool with just coming over and hanging out, she’ll give in. So, he doesn’t want to do anything else with you but hangout and chill. Every time you guys make plans it’s to do the same thing. You go to his house or he comes to your house. You are never doing anything outside the house. He might even actually take another female out and when he gets home call you, old faithful, to come over. Because this is the relationship pattern you have fallen into. Don’t do it!!!!!!

The first conversation you have can let you know the direction of the relationship. If he says anything sexual that’s exactly what he wants to do (first), have sex. He may still want to get to know you after but it’s not a priority now. The first date sets the tone for the type of relationship you will have, whether it’s just friends, a committed relationship, or just sex. If your conversations prior to him asking you out to have heavy sexual content…Don’t do it!!!!! Even if it doesn’t have sexual content…Don’t do it!!!!

Create an environment that allows both of you to grow, whether it’s together or apart. Don’t restrict the relationship from the start. Most women have already made up in their minds the type of relationship they want. Allow the opportunity. You are bound to learn something from it. Don’t be afraid to LIVE OUT LOUD!!!

 Moca

Lesson Learned: Don’t settle. Know your SELF-WORTH!!!

ABOUT AUTHOR

  • This column is designed to doing just what the title says...Living Out Loud. Moca will discuss and give advice about life and everything that comes along with it. She is an ordinary woman with extraordinary insight. I'm very opinionated and I don't hesitate to speak my mind. Now what you read you may not always agree with and that's fine. Agreeing to disagree is healthy dialogue. What I write is not gospel but it is MOCA, Living Out Loud!!! So, I hope you Laugh, Learn, and Live Out Loud through this column. Do you have a question or concern that you want to address to Moca? If so email her at mocasayz@yahoo.com All inquires will be anonymous.

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