Moving On From The Past

We all probably have that one ex that just can’t seem to move on. He or she will not contact you and it will seem as if all is good, but then out of the blue they’ll contact you after seeing how happy you are in a new relationship. It’s different for each individual though. Some may just like multiple photos on your Instagram account, just enough times so that you will take notice. Others will comment under a photo. They may say “Aw”, “Cute”, or “Looking nice”. Something simple, but noticeable.

Now let’s flip things around, sometimes you may be that annoying ex that we just mentioned above. You may be getting jealous and envious of seeing your ex beau with their new beau. You may be shaking your head like, “Nah, that a’int me! I don’t won’t that fool/broad,” or maybe you’re wondering if you could be “that ex”. Here are some things that can determine if you are that person:

  1. You compare everything to what your ex did or didn’t do. So you’re starting a new relationship, or trying to but you constantly nag about what your ex did when the two of you were together. Now it’s different when you’re getting to know someone and you both discuss past things that happened in a relationship that triggered you or turned you off. But when every conversation some how converts to something referencing your ex, you re not over him/her.
  2. You cyberstalk him/her. You visit his or her social media page (s) every chance you get to see what they’re up to. You want to know their every move. We all know if you’re cyberstalking, point blank you’re not over them.
  3. You make an excuse to text him/her. What do you guys obviously have to talk about. If you do not have a kid or kids together, then there should be no reason that you have to text them, especially to talk about nothing. The “Hey, what’s up?” texts usually imply that you want something from him or her and you’re trying to see if you can get whatever it is from him/her.

The above three are just 3 main things that can determine whether or not you’re over that ex. For some it takes longer completely move on, especially if you’re not staying busy. Staying busy is the number 1 step to getting over an old flame. Hang out with your girls or boys more, go to happy hour after work with your co-workers, spend more time with your child (ren) if you have them. There are several activities that you can engage in to pre-occupy your mind. Once you do that, you’ll be one with yourself again and ready to date someone new.

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Naomi K. Bonman is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University where she holds her Bachelors of Arts in Mass Media Arts with a concentration in Journalism. She also holds her Masters of Public Administration. She is the Founder and CEO of Awakened Media Enterprises, Inc. which owns Purposely Awakened. She has been in the media field since 2006 covering beats that range from social justice, community, entertainment, sports, fashion/beauty, and culture news.

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