Looking for Her

Hey Moca,

Just wondering what you think about “the hunt” these days.  I’m a single male that use to enjoy the occasional ‘hard to get’ female, but nowadays the women seem to be doing the hunting. I just don’t feel right being chosen. I mean don’t get me wrong I like the ‘independent woman’ I guess I’m just a southern Christian guy who still believes in the bible verse, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the LORD.” Proverbs 18:22 It makes it hard when I’m out looking and she is too. What do you think?

Looking for her, (Atlanta, GA)

 It’s sad that you even should ask this question, ‘Looking for her.’ But in a nutshell, I think the answer is society. We have allowed the people around us and the media to dictate so much of our lives that we don’t realize that we are no longer following the word of God. So, now what use to come natural for us has been distorted and we attempt to force relationships.

You see music, television, and movies depict women that know what they want and go after it. They reflect confident women that do not hesitate to approach a man. In some instances, the women come off just as aggressive and sexually dominate as men. This leaves some men in an uncomfortable disposition. Thus, some role reversal begins. Let Moca break it down for you.


Some women convince themselves that what they do in a relationship from getting the man to ending it is all their idea. They believe that ‘it’s just sex’ and they think that if they want it they can have it regardless if he’s single or not. Ha!! Silly rabbit tricks are for kids. The problem is most of these women cannot discern between a conscious decision to have sex with someone and the result of having sex with someone because of the environment they are in. While it is possible for a woman to be secure in herself and know exactly what she wants, when she wants it, and how she wants it. The issue arises when she attempts to take on the male role of dominating the relationship. Men are innately ‘go getters’ they are designed to be the head of the household to take care of the family. When you take that role from them then you contribute to the chaos of relationships today.

The days when a guy had to build up the nerve to approach a female is just about extinct because women are making the first move. Some women attempt to show their confidence verbally by introducing themselves to their pick of the night. Not realizing that true confidence is that which is evident without words. The way you carry yourself, how you act in different environments, these attributes still attract a man.  Women that claim to ‘think like a man’ set themselves up to be just the go to chick and most don’t know how to transition into a committed relationship even though a committed relationship is exactly what they want. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, honey!!

Allowing society to dictate your approach on life detours your arrival at your destination. If you don’t believe me go back to the beginning of it all. The Bible and read what is written about finding a mate and what is required of a husband and wife. If we start Living Out Loud and getting back to the basics we just might make something out of this world God created. (smile)

 Lesson Learned: “Let’s get back to the basics.”


  • This column is designed to doing just what the title says...Living Out Loud. Moca will discuss and give advice about life and everything that comes along with it. She is an ordinary woman with extraordinary insight. I'm very opinionated and I don't hesitate to speak my mind. Now what you read you may not always agree with and that's fine. Agreeing to disagree is healthy dialogue. What I write is not gospel but it is MOCA, Living Out Loud!!! So, I hope you Laugh, Learn, and Live Out Loud through this column. Do you have a question or concern that you want to address to Moca? If so email her at mocasayz@yahoo.com All inquires will be anonymous.

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