Friend or Foe

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Are We Friends?


YES      NO 


How many times must someone show you their true colors before you decide to throw bleach on them? (Not literally of course)

Friend or Foe, (Flint, MI)

I’m sure you have read the poem or heard people say, ‘people come into your life for a season, reason or a lifetime.’  I don’t claim enemies. I don’t give them a title no a place in my life. On this journey of life, I have met so many people and at the time they fit so perfectly in my life.  Everybody serves a purpose, figuring out that purpose and moving forward is where we sometimes get caught up. We should learn to appreciate people that we encounter for exactly who they are. It is often said you can’t change people when you are in a relationship but the truth of the matter is you can’t change people, period.  Being an influence or encouraging to someone is one thing but them acting different as a result is totally up to them. If you allow time most people will ‘white-out’ themselves from your life.

Deal with YOU!!! Don’t allow others to dictate your life. Don’t allow things to fester and build up when the relationship goes awry. STOP! REVIEW! RENEW! or REMOVE! When your ‘friend’ does something that hurts your feelings or that you disagree with…STOP and speak on it then. REVIEW the situation, what was said or done, how it was said or done, what were the motives behind it, what part did YOU play. Make a prayerful and wise decision to either RENEW that ‘friendship’ or REMOVE that ‘friendship.’

Now, I do understand this can be very difficult when you are dealing with someone that has been a part of your life for so long. You don’t have to cut your ‘friend’ off completely, but you do need to deal with them on a totally different level. Some people that I once considered ‘friends’ are still in my life as ‘associates,’ we still talk and hangout at times. The difference is ME. I know longer expect them to be a ‘friend’ to me. I respect them for who they are and I deal with them on that level. After time one of two things happens, you are content with the type of relationship you have or they ‘white-out’ themselves because you have ‘changed’. Either is fine, because YES you have changed, you have matured and grown from the lessons you have learned in life. Side note: I think the statement, ‘you have changed,’ is an oxymoron. People grow every day, change is inevitable, and it is supposed to happen. Why would I want to be the same person I was in 10th grade at the age of 31…? ok, I’m back. All I’m saying is STOP! REVIEW! RENEW! or REMOVE!

Recognize people for their purpose. Pray for discernment, so that you can see if they are supposed to be in your life for a season, a reason, and/or a lifetime. And remember life can be so much easier if you LIVE OUT LOUD!

Lesson Learned: Everybody serves a purpose. STOP! REVIEW! RENEW!or REMOVE!

Nakeisha "Moca" McDaniel
+ posts

This column is designed to doing just what the title says...Living Out Loud. Moca will discuss and give advice about life and everything that comes along with it. She is an ordinary woman with extraordinary insight. I'm very opinionated and I don't hesitate to speak my mind. Now what you read you may not always agree with and that's fine. Agreeing to disagree is healthy dialogue. What I write is not gospel but it is MOCA, Living Out Loud!!! So, I hope you Laugh, Learn, and Live Out Loud through this column. Do you have a question or concern that you want to address to Moca? If so email her at All inquires will be anonymous.

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