I think he’s the one. The guy that I’m talking to is everything I’ve wanted in a man. I’ve never experienced a guy that is so in tuned with what I want and need. I have noticed how God has removed people from my life just for this guy. While, he seems to be everything I’ve prayed for, I’m scared. I don’t want to call him too much, I don’t want to see him too much, I don’t want to do anything ‘too much’ in fear that I will come on too strong and run him away. I didn’t know this type of guy even existed and now I feel somewhat handicapped in how to approach the situation. What do you do when you finally meet the guy of your dreams?

Dream Dating, (Tampa, FL)

So, YOU prayed for him, YOU got him, and now YOU don’t know what to do with him. Well, let me tell you, God will give you EXACTLY what you ask for, that’s why people say, be specific in your prayers. The first thing you should do is ask God for discernment and make sure that ‘this guy’ is the one that God has for you. He just might be placed in your life to show you that the type of man you prayed for does exist. Take the time to evaluate your situation before you act.

Now, if you have determined that ‘this guy’ is the one or at least worth the risk then I say go ‘ALL IN.’ I’ve recently learned that if you don’t completely take the risk not only are you wasting your time but you’re missing out on what could be a great relationship or at best a growth lesson. So, do what you feel, throw caution to the wind and take the risk to love outside of society and your friends/family.

There are so many books, shows and even pamphlets that tell people how to get a significant other, how to maintain a relationship, even how to overcome a relationship. The BEST advice I can give you is DON’T pay attention to any of it. I think so many times we allow society as well as family and friends to dictate how we operate in a relationship. The book says once you get a number you should wait to call 2 days later. The show says that if you hold out on intimacy he will do what you want him to do. The pamphlet says that after a relationship you need to wait about 6 months before getting into a new one. MOCA says do what YOU feel. If you want to call him then do it. If you want to text him then do it. If you want to take him out then do it. There should be no rules in relationships because everyone is different. So, how can we expect the next guy to respond the same as the last guy if we are individuals? All I’m saying is there is no right or wrong way to act in a relationship. So, again MOCA says do what YOU feel.

However, a young man by the name of Vawn once said, ‘Either you are a bad pick or a bad picker, which one are you?’ If you have not identified who you are then there is a slim chance that any relationship will work. Make sure you are comfortable in your own skin, that you are secure in who you have become and aware of the path you are on for continued growth. Recognize that the choices you make are just that, YOUR choices, and should not be a reflection of what your friend said, some book told you, or something you saw on TV.

As long as both parties that are involved in the relationship are able to communicate what they want, what they need, and expect then there is no reason the two of you can’t be happy LIVING OUT LOUD.


  • This column is designed to doing just what the title says...Living Out Loud. Moca will discuss and give advice about life and everything that comes along with it. She is an ordinary woman with extraordinary insight. I'm very opinionated and I don't hesitate to speak my mind. Now what you read you may not always agree with and that's fine. Agreeing to disagree is healthy dialogue. What I write is not gospel but it is MOCA, Living Out Loud!!! So, I hope you Laugh, Learn, and Live Out Loud through this column. Do you have a question or concern that you want to address to Moca? If so email her at mocasayz@yahoo.com All inquires will be anonymous.

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