Discussing Raunchy Rap and “Glamorized Hoes”

The_Empressdee recently did an IG live where she gave her thoughts about Raunchy Rap Lyrics and “Glamorized Hoes.” She expressed her concern with how some Rap lyrics can negatively impact young girls and women into believing the wrong things; in terms of how we view ourselves, our bodies, and our communication with our men. She believes that we need to be mindful of how these hypersexual lyrics are manifested in the way that young women carry and conduct themselves and warns of the dangers that these mixed messages are giving to men and more importantly, to ourselves.

She also worries that women are not protecting their minds and their bodies as they should and believes that we need to be strong in taking care of ourselves, not allowing a man to misuse us or our bodies. She goes on to talk about Porn culture and the responsibility that musicians/artists have as role models; even if they do not want to be, the reality is that they have put themselves in a position where that is exactly what they have become and there needs to be responsibility taken for the kind of lyrics that they are putting out there and that we as female listeners, in particularly, should not ascribe to. Here is what she had to say.

I wanted to make a video about Raunchy Rap and why I cannot rock with it. It is funny because my homegirls are always making fun of me by saying” oh my God girl, you be on the same wave all day,” and while that is true, part of that has to do with the fact that I’m chill but there are multiple reasons why I cannot rock with Raunchy Rap.

One of the first reasons is that, it is very misleading to our youth. I grew up in the Nicki Minaj culture, so I do understand how I was misled by it. Here’s the thing, for us as adults, I am 24 years old, it is different for me to decipher the difference between what is real and what is fake in Rap. But you have teenage girls and younger, who do not know what to believe. They think that everything that they are hearing in these songs is true. For instance, they think that it represents how you talk to a man, that’s how you kick it, how you talk to your homegirls (B’s and H’s) and that is not real. First of all, these women are not going home talking to their man like that; Cardi B is not going home talking to Offset like that, she is not going home and having sex with other niggas…you know? We (older ladies) know that but the girls that are growing up listening to this, they do not know. Cardi and Meg Thee Stallion and all of these other women, City Girls, they might come to some type of revelation later on down the line and figure out that it was not the way to go. But you are not able to say the same thing for all of these young girls that have been misled. It has been years filled with this kind of talk and so many girls have simply been misled.

I read some where that as a woman you are either always teaching or you are always misleading. We have a big responsibility and I get it, because a lot of people do not want to be “that role model” but you are putting yourself in that position, so that is one reason that I cannot rock with it.

Another reason that I cannot rock with it is because it promotes an unhealthy amount of sex. Some people will argue that sex is solely for reproductive purposes and I completely disagree with that. But, one thing that I will say is that sex is not supposed to be used to the extent that we use it. We as Black people have been taught to be hypersexualized and that is not cool. So, you are promoting this unhealthy amount of sex; sex is supposed to be pleasurable but not the way that these women are making it sound. To me, if you are having that much sex, then you are empty on the inside. Some women will claim that they are good, I know that I look good and I am confident in myself…no, there is something inside of you that is empty if you are having sex that much. Again, these girls are not able to decipher what is real and what is not. So, with the promotion of this unhealthy amount of sex, girls believe that it is ok for me to be out here having sex like this, and not only that but you are promoting these hypersexualized lyrics with the reward of money. So, as long as this nigga got ‘this’ amount of money, I’m going to have sex with him…like, what the hell? These are “glamorized hoes” and I do not understand how we got to this space. That really bothers me, and I cannot stand for that and I cannot rock with that.

I also believe that it reinforces porn culture. I personally believe that a woman’s body should be treated with the utmost respect. Our bodies should definitely be treated with respect, but a lot of times females and their musical lyrics correlates with the males and their lyrics. In some of the songs there is talk about rough sex and how women like it like that; you are going end up messing around and getting a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). Your body is not meant to be treated that way. To each its own but I am just saying that a woman’s body should not be treated that way and you should not encourage our young ladies to allow their bodies to be subjected to this type of treatment. I believe that it also delves into porn culture and I feel like it blurs the lines as well because you are giving men an excuse to believe that you like it rough, you like to be slapped around. We often talk about how prevalent rape culture is and how consent seems to not be something that men respect and I know that there is no one in Rap who is condoning rape but your acceptance as a woman or young lady of this rough treatment can be giving men the wrong idea. If we can stand strong on certain things, then we must stand strong regarding this too! It goes against the idea of treating your body like a temple. If you really respect that sacred area of your body, then you will not permit a man to disrespect it.

I do not care what you say about Dr. Umar, but he said that women who have the most subconscious issues tend to like rough sex. So, maybe this may be something that you need to take a look at. It may be necessary to do some self-examining so that you can figure out what is going on because if you truly valued yourself then you would not let anyone treat your body that way. I am not here to condemn anyone, but I have been there so I can speak to this. I have been in that place and like I mentioned earlier, I grew up in the Nicki Minaj culture and although I was not that big of a fan, certain music encouraged me to conduct myself in certain ways because I felt like that was what was popular, that was what was valuable and nowadays parents are not necessarily having these conversations with their children, regarding the inappropriateness of certain music. There is a difference between what is real and what is fake and most times it was forbidden. So, parents may want to be more mindful of what it is that your children are listening to. Whether you allow them to listen to it at home or someplace else, they are going to find a way to listen to it.

My sister is 17 years old, and I can see the music represented in her generation and how it incorrectly depicts how a woman talks to a man. Female artists are putting these lyrics out there and then they are being repeated by our young women who are speaking this into fruition and this type of maltreatment is being manifested as these lyrics are being repeated among these younger ladies. No wonder they do not have any respect for a man, it is too much and ultimately those are some of the reasons why I cannot rock with it. We would like to be treated with the utmost respect, we want to be called Queens, but we cannot ask for all of that if that is the kind of music that you like, the music that you rock with and you’re out here repeating those lyrics, you will never have a man that respects you. Do you know why? Because you are conveying the wrong message, meant for a man that only wants you for sex as long as he can give you money in return and that is absolutely unacceptable.

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Destinee (The Empress Dee) Porter is a Restorative Justice Facilitator for Sexton High School in Lansing, MI. She is also the CEO of Empress Training Inc. which, educates young African American women about their African Lineage promoting self-love, divine femininity, and the expression of knowledge and grace. In the near future she aspires to become a Life Coach and Therapist for young men and women of color.

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