I wish he could be all I want him to be, hell at this point I would even settle for him being most of what I want him to be. I seem to always put myself in situations where I care way more than he does, he being whichever guy is in my life at the time. I know that I love HARD but I’m really trying to work on loving so EASILY. I’m hesitant when it comes to giving my number out, so when I do, it means the person intrigues me and looking for growth. But all I get is the typical ‘boy meets girl’ scenario, ‘meet…greet…four play…sex…the end.’ I need some substance to be intertwined into that scenario. So, how do I allow myself to receive what I so desperately want and damn sure deserve?
“Desperately Seeking Susan”, (Miami, FL)
Honey, you said a mouth full right then. I mean, ‘Desperately Seeking Susan,’ you really might have just struck a cord with almost every female I know. Even though some don’t like to admit they fall in love easily it happens and it happens quite often. I think consistency has a lot to do with it. We are creatures of habit. Everyone has a routine they do everyday from how they get ready to go to work/school to who they talk to everyday. Consistency brings familiarity and comfortable attributes to the situation, which in turn makes people, feel secure and cared for by whoever is apart of their daily routine. The problem arises when trying to determine other intentions of their actions. This alone causes confusion for both women as well as men and confusion will lead to a broken cycle or as you called it, “the typical ‘boy meets girl’ scenario.”
The first thing I want to say is DON’T SETTLE!!! I know at times it seems as if you will never meet Mr. Right but if you settle for Mr. Right Now, you will miss out on Mr. Right for You. I’m reminded of a spoken word artist by the name of Janette Ikz. She has a poem discussing this issue. “I was going to make him THE ONE…. I can change him…. he’s close enough.” These are all things that we have thought about at one point or another. The problem is when you do this you are setting yourself up for a ride on that broken cycle of ‘boy meets girl.’ There are a few things that must take place before the cycle can be broken.
Get yourself together. You are on the right track by identifying your own issues. Understanding what role you are playing in the scenario is key to figuring out why the story always ends the same way. Making sure that you are in line with what God has for you will place you able to meet ‘THE ONE’ but if you know the God I know He will allow you to make your own choices until you have learned the lessons and are prepared for ‘THE ONE.’ So, I say step away from dating and focus on YOU. Get yourself together.
Just as you described it ‘boy meets girl’ the bible clearly states, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” Proverbs 18:22 KJV. Once you have realized, dealt with, and accepted who you truly are then I have no doubt that God will provide the desires of your heart. It will not feel one sided or as if you are carrying the relationship by yourself. You both will invest the necessary components to maintain what God has designed for your lives.
After you have met ‘THE ONE’ the growth continues. You should now be able to continue the work that God has created IN you with the person that God has created FOR you. You become his helpmate and vice versa. In doing these things, not only will you receive what God has for you, it will be what you deserve. And believe it or not you can do all of this while LIVING OUT LOUD!!!!!
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